by Reese DuBord

Minneapolis -- An unknown Man walked into the Mall of America's Food Court today and announced to Mall Personnel that he had a bomb strapped to his body, that he was going to detonate it, and that they should begin evacuating.  After a three hour stand-off with Minneapolis police, the Man was shot by a SWAT team sniper posted in the GAP.  The Suspect then fell into a coma on the way to the hospital, reportedly without speaking.  No explosives or other weapons were found on the Manís body.  Notes, letters, answering machine messages, and video taped confessions were not found on his person or in the general vicinity.  The police have yet to release the bomber's name, but details should be forthcoming. 

Throughout the ordeal, only the Food Court was closed but it resumed operation within an hour and thirty-seven minutes of the Man's removal.  Mall authorities report a projected loss of only two hundred and fifty thousand in revenue.

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